I’m a bit sad of late. This may be seen as a continuation of my blog about giving up. However I’m well aware that I will not be doing so. It’s more of an outlet. Maybe I’m hoping that by outright declaring these statements I’ll find some answers to them, maybe its going to work as a time capsule so I don’t get too big headed if I get somewhere, or maybe be it’s just a cathartic outlet for myself and other people struggling either now or in the future.
These are some questions I’m asking myself at the minute. (I’m well aware that many people have, are and will think of the same questions, I dont presume to be special.)
1. Why did I decide to do theatre?
2. Why do I still want to do theatre?
3. Why, if I know I’m good at performing did I not pursue a career in performance over making?
4. Am I creative enough to make theatre?
5. Am I smart enough to write theatre?
6. If I am creative and smart enough to make theatre, what do I do with it once it’s done?
These are as many of the questions as I can be bothered to write down. Don’t want answers, so please don’t try to give me them or encourage me. I’m just trying to express how I feel at this moment in time. In a week I’ll probably be happy and productive again. But for now, this is how I feel.
A week or two of self-doubt and a little less confidence is probably important every now and then. Sharing.
Again, not giving up, just airing some thoughts.