How to be a Man – cut scene: The quiet crisis

So I started writing this, thinking maybe it would slot into the show somewhere. Then I read it and realised that actually HTBAM is still a quiet, contemplative show, and something like this, something about this doesn’t quite fit. But I liked it, so I’m posting it here.


“No one is angry about the crisis of masculinity. Very few seem to be even vaguely passionate. In all my research I never found an article written in all capital letters (although if I did I probably wouldn’t have read it) or a very bold red font. I never found an impassioned speech about how men don’t know what being men means any more. This isn’t really a condemnation, I’m not passionate either, I’m quietly curious.

When women started the feminist movement they shouted and screamed and protested. The did it intelligently but with heart and volume. I’m not saying this is the same thing. The feminist movement started as a reaction to thousands of years of oppression. The crisis of masculinity is more like men suddenly looking in the mirror and going ‘eurgh’.

Even so, it’s a call for change, but not a passionate one, it’s more of a step to the side with a contemplative glance and a querying cock of the eyebrow . It’s academic and it’s not really achieved much so far. It’s got a few people wondering and questioning. It’s got people saying we need to go back to the way men were in the 20’s. In general however, it’s not really changing the way men as a whole behave. Maybe that’s because we don’t know where we want it to go yet. But when we do figure it out and we want to make being a man mean something new and even a little more enlightened, we’d best be loud about it. Because if we’re not, if we sit quietly coughing to get everyone’s attention, then those of us who want to make men better will be drowned out by the misogynists and Lad’s who want men to remain loud, violent, self-absorbed, crude, creepy, leering and generally disgusting.”


It’s a little crude and underdeveloped, and sadly I don’t think it will ever go beyond this because it’s a little too excited for my liking. I wouldn’t perform it, but I will share it. Because seriously, have you seen many men stood up and shouting that men need to change the way we behave and model ourselves? I haven’t and I’ve been looking into it. I’ve found people saying we need to go back to the days when men had manners, wore suits and could whittle, and I agree, but they’re all fairly superficial things. It’s a little tiring to think about, and a little cringe-worthy to say, but it’s something much deeper, at the core of being a man that needs a change.


Eurgh, that was all very preachy and “on-message” Here’s a picture.