I’m only doing three days at work this week because on Thursday I’m heading down to Londinium for a day of rehearsals at Ovalhouse followed by a scaled back performance of How to be a Man on Saturday at CCLAP, then a day of annoying my friends Mike and Tash followed by a WIP showing of a fuller version of How to be a Man at The Roundhouse on Monday. There’s also a lot of carrying lots of heavy things all over London and then back to Lincoln.
Doing the show again, particularly after it’s had something of a re-write, requires a lot of prep work before I go to London. First off I have to re-record all of the dialogue for the Dictaphones. I also have to relearn my lines. It’s time consuming, mildly frustrating and tiring. The difficulty I’m having is that I have to do all this work after I get home from a day of working in an office. The urge to sack it off and just watch TV and play games and read books is overwhelming. I use the world overwhelming because that is exactly what I have done. I have been unable to resist my urge to not do anything.
That’s not entirely true, I managed to rewrite some of the script, but that was the easy part. It leaves me feeling worried. I will do the work I need to do, I know that, because I need to do it. What I’m worried about is doing it in a half arsed manner, because if I do that then I probably might as well not do it. I just get very tired and the thought of working hard after a day of pretending to work hard is unpleasant.
I wish someone would just hand me a large sum of money and say, “Hey, don’t have a real job, focus on that other stuff because it’s cool and you’re awesome.” but sadly no one will do that because the world is horrible and unfair. I’d spit my dummy out and refuse to work, but then I’d starve.
(Actually my diabetes would kill me before starvation set in)
This has been a ramble and there’s no real point to it, but I didn’t want to do actual work at work (actually it’s lunch time) so I thought I’d bash my fists against my keyboard and see what happened.
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That’s what happened. Doesn’t make for great reading.